2013 felt like a long year that flew past. I guess that is how time goes as you get older. It was a year with some big changes, but no big struggles.
Part of the reason, the year felt long was the constant balancing act between me time and family time. This year I probably weighted things to heavily on the family time side. It is not a complaint. I love family time. H and Bug are my two favorite people and being with them brings me joy. It is just that I also require time alone to kayak, bike, read, or just decompress. Often I feel like I need more alone time than most people and feel guilty about taking it. Then I fear that the guilt will ruin the alone time, so I don't take the alone time. Then I feel a little mad at myself for not taking the alone time and I don't get the regenerative effects. in 2014, I hope to find a better balance.
I had two big changes in 2013: a new job and Bug going to preschool.
The new job has been a generally positive change. I was miserable and bored at Red Hat. It was tough going from being senior and knowing where all the bodies are buried to being a new kid on the block. I had to learn how the new company functions, the politics, and the culture. That on top of doing the job I was hired to do. It is a good change overall. I did learn a few things about myself though. I like flexible work schedules more than I thought I did, I loathe commuting, and I do better working at home than I thought. I know these things because they are the only things I miss about Red Hat.
Bug heading off to preschool was more of a change than I anticipated. She was totally ready to go. I think she was a little bored with day care. For me the change was a reminder that with a child, things are always in flux. It seems like everyday she is a little more independent or has a new skill or is into some new thing. It is great and sad at the same time. She is doing great and that is what is most important.
Our summer was jam packed with travel. We went to Maine, Colorado, New Hampshire, and Florida. Bug is a great traveler and that is a boon for us. She really seems to enjoy camping and kayaking. We got her out a few more times this past summer. The downside of all the traveling is the lack of downtime.
As get older, I am coming to appreciate the value of downtime more and more. Sometimes it is important to have nothing planned and nowhere to go. H jokes that I cannot just sit around for a day and do nothing which is true. I do, however, appreciate the lack of a schedule. I also find that at work, I find it more important to be able to have short days and see my family than be in the thick of things. Relax, be happy.